When Your Body Says No

Last week, we explored what it feels like to experience a full-body yes—that deep, grounded sense of clarity and alignment that lives in the body, not the mind. If you want to revisit that post, click here.

But what about a full-body no?

In my own practice and in my work with clients, the no can feel just as clear—but often more layered and complex. Because a full-body no isn’t always loud.

Sometimes it’s a tightening. A shrinking. A disconnection from the present moment. A heaviness in your chest or your throat. A voice inside whispering, something’s off.

So what’s behind that no?

Often, it’s fear.

• Fear of getting hurt.

• Fear of being rejected.

• Fear of being judged.

• Fear of failing.

• Fear of being too much or not enough.

These fears live in the body. Sometimes they’re quiet and subtle, other times they show up as persistent anxiety, tension, or shutdown. But underneath that discomfort, the body is doing exactly what it’s designed to do: protect you.

This is why we work with the nervous system in coaching. Because your body stores experiences. It holds the wisdom—but also the wounds. When your nervous system perceives a threat, even if it's emotional or relational, it responds with fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. These are not flaws; they’re survival strategies.

And sometimes, that no you feel has nothing to do with the present moment—it’s your body remembering something from the past that felt unsafe.

Most of us have been taught to ignore those feelings. To push through. To stay small. To stay quiet. But your body remembers.

Sometimes, we say no to growth—not because we don’t want it, but because it feels unfamiliar. Sometimes we push away success—not because it isn’t aligned, but because being visible once felt unsafe.

Learning to recognize what’s a clear, present-moment no versus what’s a fear-based reaction takes time, gentleness, and support.

The more attuned you become, the easier it is to discern the difference—not to override the fear, but to meet it with curiosity and presence.

Next time something feels off, try pausing and asking your body:

• What are you trying to tell me?

• Where do I feel this?

• Do I need safety, or is this simply not for me?

When we learn to understand our no as much as our yes, things shift. We begin to connect with ourselves on a whole new level. And that connection leads to real change.